Kate Moss Is A Lush

Soon, I'll go from gardening to grazing

It was a heaping salad, piled high with vegetables and virtue. I felt noble and righteous ordering it. Not for me, the haunch of red meat and accompanying starch. No. Completely of my own free will I had ordered a Kate Moss special: 50 shades of green with only an insinuation of dressing to liven it up.

My hauteur was short-lived. There, in amongst the rocket and arugula, were some other greens with whom I had more than a passing acquaintance. In fact, I had spent a few hours that very day in their intimate company, on bended knee, no less. Why, here they were again, this time, peeking out from mache and sprouted wheat berries: dandelions, both leaf and flower. The very same that I had laboured to extinguish from my lawn and garden, now nicely nestled in my expensive salad.

Do you remember the Steve Martin movie where he insists that the waiter whisk away the old wine and bring him — no fool, he — some fresh wine?

Rather than blurt out that there were weeds in my dinner, I silently ate my salad, nodding vigorously when asked if my silage was satisfying.

“Why yes, I like nothing better than a deep bowl of lawn clippings at the end of a long day!”

Dandelions! I’m paying for dandelions! In my mind’s eye, I could see the other waiters slapping dollar bills into my waiter’s hand for having won the wager on the width, breadth and depth of my gullibility.

The next day I made some inquiries. Turns out dandelions are a hugely legitimate presence in the kitchen, as well as in the medicine chest. With the way the world is going — depleted fisheries, escalating bunker fuel costs, water issues, food safety — expect to have all sorts of food sources re-evaluated in the not-so-distant future. Dandelions are an easy introduction to what’s coming and I bet you have a cash crop close at hand.

The lowly dandelion has a storied past. Introduced to North America by early colonists, it took off, spreading from east to west rapidly. Why did the settlers think to bring a pernicious weed to the New World? Because it isn’t simply a pernicious weed. For centuries the dandelion was considered an important plant for its many medicinal and culinary qualities. Its Greek name flaunts the dandelion’s curative properties: Taraxacum officinale — have plenty to boast about.